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Glossary of the Lifestyle

A plain-English guide to the words you will hear in the swinging lifestyle.

B

Boundaries
The things you and your partner have agreed you are comfortable with, and the things you are not. Boundaries can change over time, and they are always respected.

C

Consent
A clear, happy yes from everyone involved. It can be withdrawn at any moment.
Couple
Two partners who join the lifestyle together and make decisions together.

D

Discretion
Keeping other people's identities and details private. It is one of the most important courtesies in the lifestyle.

E

Ethical non-monogamy
A wider term for relationships where everyone involved knows about and agrees to the arrangement. Swinging is one form of it.
Event
A social evening, party or meet-up organised for people in the lifestyle. Most have a dress code and house rules.

F

Full swap
A level of play where couples agree in advance to go further with other people. Every couple decides this for themselves.

H

Hard limit
Something a person or couple has decided is completely off the table.

L

Lifestyle, the
Another name for swinging. It describes adults who enjoy meeting other like-minded adults, always with consent and respect.

M

Meet and greet
A relaxed first meeting, usually a drink in a public place, where people get to know each other with no expectations.

S

Same room
An agreement that couples stay together in the same room during any play.
Separate rooms
An agreement that partners may spend time apart from each other, with the couple's agreement.
Single
A person joining the lifestyle on their own, rather than as part of a couple.
Soft swap
A more limited level of play agreed in advance. What counts as soft is up to each couple, so always ask rather than assume.
Swinger
Someone who takes part in the swinging lifestyle.
Swinging
Adults, most often couples but also singles, who mutually agree to meet other like-minded adults for adult fun, with consent and respect.

U

Unicorn
A single person, often a woman, who is welcomed by a couple to join them. It is best to be clear about expectations on both sides.

V

Vanilla
A friendly word for people and situations outside the lifestyle.

Want more? Our FAQ answers common questions, and the blog has friendly guides.

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